Comments on: Too Much Eldercare Too Soon http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/ Fri, 10 Feb 2012 12:17:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kaye Swain http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-2106 Kaye Swain Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:29:07 +0000 http://eldercareabcblog.com/?p=3202#comment-2106 Great article! This really hit home for me. I come from a long line of "servant hearts." We LOVE to help, sometimes too much! I'm learning that often I help just as much by NOT helping as when I do. We are also very independent and that makes it so hard for us to let others help us, but as you aptly point out, letting them help us can really be a gift to them! I will definitely try to do better, while taking Thankless Job's point as well and making sure they really are comfortable doing something and want to. When I used to help my Dad with his Parkinson's Disease there were many things he wanted to do and I had to learn to be more patient (another weak area :) ). Other things, he really wanted help with and I was glad to do it. As with so many things in the life of a Sandwich Generation senior home care giver, it's yet another balancing act. :) Great article! This really hit home for me. I come from a long line of “servant hearts.” We LOVE to help, sometimes too much! I’m learning that often I help just as much by NOT helping as when I do. We are also very independent and that makes it so hard for us to let others help us, but as you aptly point out, letting them help us can really be a gift to them! I will definitely try to do better, while taking Thankless Job’s point as well and making sure they really are comfortable doing something and want to. When I used to help my Dad with his Parkinson’s Disease there were many things he wanted to do and I had to learn to be more patient (another weak area :) ). Other things, he really wanted help with and I was glad to do it. As with so many things in the life of a Sandwich Generation senior home care giver, it’s yet another balancing act. :)

]]> By: Thankless Job http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-2084 Thankless Job Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:32:28 +0000 http://eldercareabcblog.com/?p=3202#comment-2084 On the other hand, I think sometimes it’s sort of insensitive to insist on this kind of thing. Why should I make my father (Parkinson’s, Lewy Body Dementia) struggle for an hour to dress himself when I can do it in less than two minutes? He’s not a child. It’s not like if he practices for a few weeks he’ll be able to do it more successfully. There’s something to be said for expediency and not dwelling on the things they find frustrating. On the other hand, I think sometimes it’s sort of insensitive to insist on this kind of thing. Why should I make my father (Parkinson’s, Lewy Body Dementia) struggle for an hour to dress himself when I can do it in less than two minutes? He’s not a child. It’s not like if he practices for a few weeks he’ll be able to do it more successfully. There’s something to be said for expediency and not dwelling on the things they find frustrating.

]]> By: Mary Davis http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-2082 Mary Davis Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:52:48 +0000 http://eldercareabcblog.com/?p=3202#comment-2082 I just checked in from SecretsofElderCare.com to see what interesting articles you have today and I just love this one. I have to share a story with you about my Mom. Mom had a stroke and couldn't use her right hand and was bed bound. I followed your advice and gave her some towels etc to fold (not too hard to do and not too big). It worked really well and she was smiling while she completed the task. One day I gave her some green beans to snap. I thought that was easy to do. Well, I was apalled when I went back to the room a few minutes later and saw that she was holding the beans in her mouth (since she couldn't move her right hand) and was trying to snap the beans with her mouth and her left hand. I couldn't believe that I was so stupid and gave her such a task to do. I felt soooo bad........She was really trying to help and I was so insensitive to give her something to do that there was no way she could do it. Gotta give her a hand for thinking of a way to do the task. From then on, I was sure to give her something to do that I tried to do one-handed before I gave it to her. I just checked in from SecretsofElderCare.com to see what interesting articles you have today and I just love this one. I have to share a story with you about my Mom.

Mom had a stroke and couldn’t use her right hand and was bed bound. I followed your advice and gave her some towels etc to fold (not too hard to do and not too big). It worked really well and she was smiling while she completed the task.

One day I gave her some green beans to snap. I thought that was easy to do. Well, I was apalled when I went back to the room a few minutes later and saw that she was holding the beans in her mouth (since she couldn’t move her right hand) and was trying to snap the beans with her mouth and her left hand.

I couldn’t believe that I was so stupid and gave her such a task to do. I felt soooo bad……..She was really trying to help and I was so insensitive to give her something to do that there was no way she could do it. Gotta give her a hand for thinking of a way to do the task.

From then on, I was sure to give her something to do that I tried to do one-handed before I gave it to her.

]]> By: Care Home Newquay http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-2078 Care Home Newquay Tue, 22 Sep 2009 22:54:59 +0000 http://eldercareabcblog.com/?p=3202#comment-2078 Great article. So many people take the atitude that it's quicker to do it themselves without giving any thought to the disabling affect that this has on others. Great article. So many people take the atitude that it’s quicker to do it themselves without giving any thought to the disabling affect that this has on others.

]]> By: Tweets that mention Too Much Eldercare Too Soon | Elder Care ABC -- Topsy.com http://eldercareabcblog.com/too-much-eldercare-too-soon/comment-page-1/#comment-2077 Tweets that mention Too Much Eldercare Too Soon | Elder Care ABC -- Topsy.com Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:44:51 +0000 http://eldercareabcblog.com/?p=3202#comment-2077 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by HomeHelpers Ctrl AR. HomeHelpers Ctrl AR said: @mike_gamble Liked TooMuch,TooSoon http://bit.ly/LZTMq: Parents need to be needed,true,but some kids forget to give back--needs balance. [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by HomeHelpers Ctrl AR. HomeHelpers Ctrl AR said: @mike_gamble Liked TooMuch,TooSoon http://bit.ly/LZTMq: Parents need to be needed,true,but some kids forget to give back–needs balance. [...]

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