Moving an Aging Parent from Long-Distance – Part X


by Joy Loverde

It is heartwarming to see Mom happy and content as she begins the process of furnishing her new apartment. She is equally delighted when all three of her daughters tell her that we have rearranged our schedules to be with her as she shops in Chicago for new furniture.

She tells us she’s on a tight budget and we head to the Value City Furniture store. The online web address is  Keeping Mom in control of all decorating decisions is the only way to accomplish this task and expect that all will go smoothly. This way, Mom will leave Chicago with a happy heart and a beautiful home to look forward to when she and Bill return.

With most of the purchases completed in a matter of a few short hours (Value City had absolutely everything Mom needed to furnish her apartment -- sofa, recliner, TV console, end tables, dining table, and chairs) we go our separate ways, and my sister, Linda takes Mom home to stay overnight.

The next day, Linda and Mom hit the road early to buy the smaller items Mom will need to complete the furnishing of the apartment – lamps, dishes, glassware, wall pictures, bedding, kitchen gadgets and more. They went to Target, Big Lots, and Wal-Mart and bought up a storm. In the afternoon, I called Linda and suggested that since Mom’s shopping was complete, why not drop off Mom and her purchases? This way Mom can stay overnight and spend time in her apartment, putting the items away, and helping her with the transition of living in a much smaller place than she is used to. The more we offer opportunities for our elders to spend time in their new surroundings before the actual move, the better.

The moment Mom arrives, she’s in her new kitchen putting items away right where she wants them. I observe the delight on her face and am touched at how much I love her. It’s a snapshot moment that I will never forget – Mom’s smiles and laughter on this simple, ordinary day. The caregiving process offers numerous split-second memories that live with us forever. We just have to remember to step back and take it all in.

That night I ask Mom to show me her recipe for cooking eggplant Italian style. When Mom is in the kitchen, the entire house fills with aromas that are straight from Tuscany. I often ask my Mom to teach me new things – it’s good for both of us.  After dinner we spend a little more time putting things away in her apartment, and hit the hay early. We’re exhausted.

I’m observing how perfectly everything is falling into place and wondering how long it will be until the first bomb drops. I didn’t have to wait very long. The next day as I am driving Mom back to Linda’s house I get the call from Sharon the realtor. The buyer of Mom and Bill’s house has backed out of the deal, and wants his earnest money back. I say nothing to Mom and am in shock.


7 Responses

  1. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by steve Joyce. steve Joyce said: From EldercareABC-- Moving an Aging Parent from Long-Distance – Part X: by Joy Loverde It is heartwarming to see M... [...]
  2. It took us five hours to clean the one-bedroom apartment, and we had a lot of fun doing it. With the radio basting in the background playing oldies-but-goodies tunes, we laughed and joked about the good old days.
  3. Every adult child's guide to living with an aging parent. Inviting your elderly parent to move in is a big decision that can affect every aspect of your family's life.
  4. Nice article. There is a great book on this topic actually called "When your parent moves in." It goes into wonderful detail and is really helpful. My mother-in-law moved in with my husband and me and we would have been lost without the book.
  5. [...] Here’s an experience from Joy Loverde regarding moving an aging parent from long-distance. Joy Loverde was able to find furniture stores which sell cheap furniture which was perfect for her mother. In addition, she’s comfortable that her mom would find it easier to feel at home. … Read ahead [...]
  6. We are moving my dad in with us in just a couple of months, when our new home is finished. He seems to be fine with the idea of moving, but he's been in the house since 1968 and so I'm worried about the transition.
  7. [...] Di Joy Loverde E 'confortante vedere la mamma felice e contento come lei inizia il processo di arredamento suo nuovo appartamento. E 'ugualmente felice quando tutte e tre le sue figlie di dirle che abbiamo riordinato i nostri orari di essere con lei come lei negozi a Chicago per i mobili nuovi. Lei ci dice che è on [. . . ] URL articolo originale [...]
  8. When one parent is planning to move, the best way to deal with the other parent is by falling them as soon as possible. Secretiveness will intensify fears and distrust. It is very helpful to reassure the other parent that you will continue to encourage a strong relationship between them and the children.
  9. Amy
    Nice article. There is a great book on this topic actually called "When your parent moves in." It goes into wonderful detail and is really helpful. My mother-in-law moved in with my husband and me and we would have been lost without the book.
  10. In this day and age, we are living longer and longer. As we grow, our lives take us in many directions...born in Georgia, raised in Texas and now living in New Jersey can put some distance between you and your loved ones. But distance will not stop the aging process, and our loved ones will become more fragile and will need someone to look over them. If a nursing home is not an option, then moving in with the family or to an apartment nearby is a perfect solution. Moving is a difficult task at any age, but particularly most challenging when you're elderly. The good news is, that technology has also grown in the moving and storage industry and a family member can do all the research, planning, , scheduling, hiring, packing, loading and driving from the convenience of their own home. When researching moving companies, look for companies that specialize in senior citizen moves. These companies have a team of professional movers that cater and attend to the special needs of the elderly. Ultimately, wouldn't you want a mover that would act as if they where moving their very own grandmother? Thanks and Regards The Moving Expert for <a href="" rel="nofollow">long distance moving</a>

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