Moving a Reluctant Parent – Part 15


by Joy Loverde

To those of you who are following this blog about my Aunt who is reluctant to move out of her house, I didn’t want too much time to go by before I gave you an update on what’s happening.

On that note, what’s happening is absolutely nothing.

There she stays... in spite of the coldest Chicago winter ever. She took it upon herself to get out the snow blower and clear the driveway - and she fell. With no cell phone on hand, she waited until someone saw her to help her get up. She could have frozen to death or worse.

There she stays... in spite of mounting health issues. A knee replacement is now on the horizon.

There she stays... in spite of the fact that houses in her neighborhood are selling fast and this endless money pit could be behind her in a matter of weeks.

Yesterday over the phone My Aunt says that she comes from a long line of stubborn people. She explains that her brother and sister (they are in their late 80’s) both live in their own houses and so she must do the same; then she laughs. I sense this is a nervous laugh. I say nothing.

Clinging to one’s comfort zone is an interesting process. In my Aunt’s case, she has lived a life of fear and worry all her life. I know this from having spent my entire life observing and listening to her decision-making process. Fear and worry feel natural to her. I get it. I accept it. I love her anyway. Groundless fear (not based on facts) IS her comfort zone.  Importantly, to challenge this thought process of hers would be the end of our talking. My Aunt would cut me off.

On the same phone call, there was a little ray of hope… my Aunt asked me and my husband to stop by to talk about her finances. I wonder what’s up.

Stay tuned…