- Protection from Financial Elder Abuse (37)
- How to Deal With Aging Parents (35)
- The Upside to Elderly Home Care (33)
- Average Nursing Home Costs (20)
- internet marketing nottingham: All over I think nursing home care is a HUGE cost and the sad part is, people are hardly prepared to deal with this unti...
- CaregiversUSA: Caregivers of aging parents may also consider outside services such as adult day care (http://www.activeday.com) to help...
- medicare nursing homes: This was a well written, informative article. I am very involved in elder care issues–no longer my own as both of my p...
- medicare nursing homes: I read your blogs these are very enjoyable and the task is very difficult so good luck....
- medicare nursing homes: Thanks for sharing it and the statements given by you are very useful. Good job keep it up....
- medicare nursing homes: A good first step for many, especially those seniors that don't have family nearby to help, is to seek the advice of a g...
- medicare nursing homes: Thank you so much for helping people who are on part D medical. This should make it easier to lower the payments. So man...
- medicare nursing homes: Dealing with parents or anyone older than you with money advice or any advice in general can be tough. They have differe...
Here if you need me
- 5 Comments
- Posted on Nov. 20th, 2009
Always looking for “the meaning” of what life presents, I found a great book I would like to recommend to 
caregivers: Here If You Need Me: A True Story (Little, Brown and Company, 2007) by Kate Braestrup.
The theme that I found most useful for caregivers is the idea of “the ministry of presence.” The book is written by Braestrup, who became “an accidental chaplain,” following the death of her husband Drew, a Maine state trooper who died in a car accident. At the time, he was considering a second career as an ordained minister. Instead, the mother of four took up the cause and followed in his footsteps. She became a chaplain for the Maine Warden Service, which sets up search-and-rescue missions throughout the northern state.
It seems obvious that a chaplain would practice this ministry of presence. But, when I think about it, I believe that is largely what caregivers do most of the time. We are present – or try to be – for our aging parents. It is something to think about. When and how are we present for our aging parents? What does that mean?
For me, sometimes it means sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s office or testing lab, while my mom is getting an X-ray or an exam. Sometimes, I find creative ways to do that, like walking outside and sitting or taking a walk. Some days being present means lunch, or dinner, or accompanying her to Mass. Others, it involves calling in from the hectic frontlines of my life as “mom” and the craziness of being that when your kids are teens and young adults, and once again, sleep is an interrupted experience. Many times, it is wanting to be present, and torn from that by the obligations of work, home and life. And every day, it is part of my prayer, calling on a higher power to carry us all when I can’t.
So, for all those reasons, I am holding this new inspiration close to my site, offered from Braestrup from her book. It helps me define my role for my mom, and for my children and for friends. “I am here when you freak out, or grieve, or laugh, or suffer, or sing. It is a ministry of presence. It is showing up with a loving heart. And it is really, really cool.” – Kate Braestrup
How do you consider your role as caregiver? What are the moments you feel most present for your parent? Please share them here.
- 5 Comments... Add your opinion!
Regarding elder care, be aware that Poligrip, Fixodent, and other denture creams have been linked to neurological and other problems. This site has some good information and recourse options: http://www.denturecreamlawyer.com/
reply to this commentI’ve heard Kate Braestrup speak, and she’s sincere and warm and authentic. As elder advocates and caregivers, I think “Being There” in every sense– to be a support, another set of eyes and ears, or a caring voice– is really the summation of what we do. Kates doesn’t confine her presence to elders, of course, and neither should we. In fact, urging our elders to be the Presence for others keeps them engaged, invovled and important.
reply to this comment[...] Here if you need me | Elder Care ABC [...]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by steve Joyce, Jake Travers. Jake Travers said: Here if you need me | Elder Care ABC http://bit.ly/3qSmwh [...]
[...] Here if you need me | Elder Care ABC It seems obvious that a chaplain would practice this ministry of presence. But, when I think about it, I believe that is largely what caregivers do most of the time. We are present – or try to be – for our aging parents. It is something to think about. When and how are we present for our aging parents? What does that mean? [...]