Common Tips for Community Building and Social Outreach for Seniors to Prevent Depression and Loneliness

A rapidly growing problem in today’s society is clinical depression amongst our elders. There are numerous life factors that contribute to senior depression, many of them are unavoidable. The loss of mobility or the diagnosis of an illness either in themselves or a loved one, the need to employ or become a long term care provider and retirement are all things that can cause one to become depressed. It is more difficult to diagnose someone who is older; however, because symptoms, loss of speed or appetite, may be masked as characteristics of someone who is simply aging. Untreated depression in seniors has caused the geriatric suicide rate to climb at an alarming pace; therefore, it is important to identify depression as soon as possible when suspected and to seek help or treatment for yourself or your loved one.  Seniors are proven to be less likely to reach out and seek help for themselves.

Support Groups

Community has proven to be a tremendous help in treating and preventing depression in seniors. Simple human interaction and the support offered by others facing the same life hurdles provide an excellent blanket of reassurance to the fact that you are not alone. Often one of the main causes of depression in older people is a feeling of isolation from society. They are lonely and have suffered a great amount of loss. Having a support group of people that are dealing with the same losses and challenges can help to give those suffering from depression an outlet for their feelings and a sense of community. Talk therapy can be as effective as drug therapy when treating depression. There are even online support groups that can be found, allowing those who need it the ability to reap the benefits of group therapy from home.

Community Centers and Group Activities

Almost every city has a community center for its people and most of those centers offer some kind of senior program. Whether classes or scheduled outings, these times provide an opportunity for elders to get out of the house and be around other people, having new experiences and continuing to LIVE, further combating the feelings of isolation that can lead to debilitating depression. When you are enrolled in class or signed up for a trip, someone is holding you accountable. You are expected to show up, and it is less likely that you will stay home alone. This is one of the reasons that these programs are so effective, that and the fact that we thrive off of human interaction. Having conversations, getting our minds working, and sharing experiences with one another helps to get us motivated and keep us going.

It is so important to identify depression in a person of any age, and to then take steps to treat it. Once action has been taken to improve your overall mood, you begin to be able to function better and do more which continues to improve your feelings of self worth and the way you feel, allowing you to move on from those feelings of depression into something a little brighter.

George Shaw is a popular contributor to Texas nursing home ratings websites. He can also be found writing articles to support the senior community in Texas.

Seniors and Dental Visits

Many who care for aging parents are shocked to find that their family member’s oral health has deteriorated.  While most elderly people visit the doctor regularly, the dentist lags far behind when it comes to routine visits and care.

Equally surprising for caregivers is the amazing bounce in health the elderly experience when their teeth and gums are properly treated and their dental health restored. Many report a new lease on life.

Gum health is directly related to cardiac health. Infections wear down the elderly and gums are often an overlooked hiding place for such threats to overall health and vigor. Teeth should be cleaned every 6 months and gums carefully examined. Regimens for improved gum health should be strictly adhered to.

Exercise Aging Muscles

While it might seem counter intuitive to suggest that an elderly relative who awakens to aches and pains every morning get out and get moving, nothing could be more true. At your aging friend or relative’s next doctor visit, discuss what appropriate exercises might be beneficial and safe for them to participate in.

Swimming and pool-based exercise are often the perfect solution for the elderly seeking to maintain health through exercise. The water relieves pressure on joints while also providing gentle resistance; the perfect conditioning environment for joints and muscles feeling their age.

The Benefits of Friendship for the Aging

As we age, we often find ourselves staying close to home or even becoming housebound.  When the elderly cannot leave their homes, they often feel isolated from their life and friends they once enjoyed. This isolation is damaging to physical and mental health.

Encourage family members and friends to visit, run errands with, and call their elderly loved ones. Introduce them to the Internet and the many new ways to connect socially such as video teleconferencing and chatting.

The elderly have spent a lifetime gaining knowledge and wisdom. Help them find ways to share their valuable talents with others. Older friends and relatives have a lot to share and can mentor grandchildren and much younger friends.

Brain Aerobics

A nimble mind is the product of mental exercising. Consider some of these great ways to get your elderly friend’s brain moving:

• Play games such as Scrabble or checkers.
• Play Sudoku.
• Do crossword puzzles together.
• Read mysteries and try to solve them.

Listening to or reading good books is a great way to keep the mind alert.  Books on tape are great for those having difficulty with their vision.

Don’t let the elderly get bored with life. Help them maintain a vigorous mind and healthy body and help them stay connected and engaged.

Things are heating up. If you’ve been following Parts 1 through 7 regarding the adventures of my Aunt Bernice and her reluctance to move out of her house, then you know that she would have been far better off had she made the move a year ago when she invited me over to her house to help her “pack a few boxes.”

The continuous spending of money (she doesn’t have)in order to keep up with the interior and exterior house maintenance combined with her serious chronic physical ailments still isn’t enough to make her budge.

Last summer, the family room in her house flooded after a rainstorm. She spent a lot of money fixing the leak and repairing damaged walls, carpeting and furniture. I recall her telling me how much better she felt knowing that her family room would never flood again. Ha! Last week, the same thing happened again. The rains came and flooded everything. And that’s not all.

Several weeks ago, at 2:30 am, she decided to move her bedroom nightstand (a heavy piece of furniture). In the process of dragging the nightstand to the other side of the bed, the top fell off and landed on her foot. She said she “saw stars” it hurt so much. Her walking is now impaired.

Last week, she went to lunch with two close friends who announced that they are selling their house and moving to something more manageable. My Aunt told me that she found their news “shocking.” For years this couple swore up and down that they would never move.

If you have been following this “Moving a Reluctant Parent” blog series, you are beginning to get the picture that the myriad house issues compounded by physical ailments is exactly what will eventually wear down a reluctant-to-move  elderly person.  And in the meantime, even though it may look like I am doing nothing to stop the destruction, just the opposite is true.

Behind the scenes, I have done my homework and readied myself to discuss housing options with her when she declares “enough is enough.” I am also psychologically prepared to physically go to her house if/when she physically hurts herself again (a physical crisis often forces a move). Most importantly, I have kept the lines of communication open with her by NOT talking about moving every time we get together. Had I tried to verbally strong-arm her into moving, she would not be disclosing the bad things that are happening to her now. The trust level between the two of us is sky-high and must remain there.

The other day, I got a greeting card in the mail from Aunt Bernice, and in the card were family photos taken long ago when our families got together at her house and we were surrounded with loved and revered relatives who died long ago. I see this photo-giving gesture as progress toward her move. I imagine at night, she gets out those family albums and has herself a good cry. Oh so slowly she is re-living her memories; then says goodbye to the gifts her home has given her for over 50 years.

This, dear readers, is why I have been 100% respectful of Aunt Bernice’s relocation process. The time will come, one way or another that she will move, and I am prepared for anything, and I mean anything, to happen.

by Carol Marak

In a thought provoking discussion on LinkedIn, a question was posed that led to raised brows and some tension among senior care marketers in the group. We were not at a loss for opinions and I admit, most made a lot of sense to me. BUT… we, the senior care providers and marketers, are not the right people to answer the question; the right audience is you, readers and inquirers of senior care topics, products, and information! Are you up for it seniors and family caregivers?

Okay, here goes (but remember, marketers are counting on you to give us the scoop because we’re in the dark):

Are seniors getting the information they need to make the best choices for their healthcare needs?

Yep, I told you it was hot and will likely open Pandora’s Box! But marketers are up for it, so we’re widening the audience in this debate to include you.

When searching for senior and healthcare solutions, are you having difficulty finding answers and solutions to your questions? More specifically, do you think you’re given too few options for your healthcare needs, and do you feel that you are left in the dark about the options available to you?

One of the members in the group, Alex, said, “I’ve seen it from the choice of Hospice, Home health, Durable Medical equipment companies, and even nursing and assisted living centers. In 2011 you would think this would be impossible because of the internet. Marketing our services to the senior population is crucial but how to get “directly” to them is one of the issues. Does anyone else see this in their communities?”

So here’s a question to you, seniors and caregivers, what’s your take on “How to get “directly” to you? Are we accomplishing that on the Internet? My summation is, “we, as marketers, are getting in front of you via the web but the information we publish does not accurately address your concerns or questions! Why? Because we don’t know or don’t understand what your questions are! We assume that we do.

Another group member says it so eloquently and spot on, “NO. Access to information of this nature is typically looked for at the time of crisis and not before. As unfortunate as this is, it is the state of our senior care system. As a result, seniors and their families are reliant upon individuals who would appear to have the knowledge, such as social service workers, doctors and other skilled care providers; however those individuals often lack a thorough understanding of the services or access to services that may be available to their patient. This is of course is no fault of their own as the volume of products, services, and companies is overwhelming even to those of us who work in this industry. Without out question, there is a deep fundamental failure in our “CARE” system and at the root are communication and the dissemination of cohesive, accurate information. The internet is always our friend, especially when we are in a hurry; compound being in a hurry with being in crisis and you have a tremendous recipe for disaster.” This summary was given by Barbara.Doesn’t her answer to the problem hit the nail on the head for you?

But, again, it’s not for me to say! That’s where youcome in. Please tell us and set the record straight.Are you getting the information you need to make the best choices for your healthcare needs?

Carol Marak is founder of Carebuzz.com (http://carebuzz.com), a platform of websites targeting local senior care help for family caregivers and the aging senior they care for.  Carol is a former caregiver for her aging parents. She experienced the frustrations of searching for local elder care help while living at a distance from her loved ones. That’s why she created Carebuzz. She plans to grow the city sites to be a leading local resource for caregivers.

Avoid. Steer clear. Dodge reality.  My reluctant Aunt Bernice is a master when it comes to not making a decision about moving out of her house. Part 6 of my blog, “Moving a Reluctant Parent”’ talked about how discussions between me and my aunt had come to a screeching halt. This blog is focused on letting you know that more time has gone by and nothing has changed.

It’s time for me to say or do something – or is it? If a choose to, I can say something to her like, “Gee, Aunt B, it’s been awhile since you and I packed up a few of your belongings and talked about the possibility of you selling the house and moving. You were all gung ho not too long ago. What’s up?” Or I can continue to keep my mouth shut and listen for opportunities to open up the dialogue about moving once again when the timing is right.

Timing. Do you realize the importance of timing, dear blog reader? It’s the KEY INGREDIENT to my success in this eldercare situation, and the only way I will be able to keep the lines of communication open between me and Aunt Bernice and the pending move. Do I want things to be different? Do I want to wring her neck? Am I angry and afraid that she will hurt herself? Of course.  And this is her life, her choice, her journey.

In the meantime I am climbing the walls with anxiety. Physically and mentally she is on a downward spiral. She has never been more overweight and tired and depressed than right now. The stress of caring for an aging house that is in dire need of repair keeps her up night after night. And what is she doing about it? Leaving town and going on vacation or getting together with girlfriends for breakfast, lunch, and dinner as if she hasn’t a care in the world.

From my years of experience in family caregiving with aging parents and elderly loved ones, what typically happens that forces a move in housing is a health-related incident (just typing these words made my heart beat ten times faster). Let’s say Aunt B is mowing the lawn and her back goes out and she lands in the hospital emergency room, or she falls down the stairs. Sadly, these are the kinds of events that change things for the better in terms of her taking action to sell the house and move.

Knowing this eldercare scenario is where I am at right now, it’s my turn to take care of myself during this stressful time of waiting until things change. My book, The Complete Eldercare Planner has numerous family caregiver tips for these kinds of emotionally stressful eldercare times.

One of my favorite stress-reliever tips includes having someone “safe” to talk to about what’s going on. My best friend, Jill has heard it all. I can say anything to her, and get down and dirty about how I really feel. By the time I am finished talking with Jill, I have put everything back into perspective and we are usually end up laughing our heads off about the absurdity of the entire eldercare situation. To top it off, we usually end our conversations with, “I’ll never be like that.” And that statement makes us laugh even harder.

When my senior dad was in his fifties, he learned he was in the early stages of Parkinsons Disease. I still remember the shock I felt when he and my mom told me about it. It would have been so easy for him to just sit in a chair and allow depression to take over, as a friend of ours did.

My senior dad chose, instead, to follow the instructions of his doctor by proactively staying physically active. He continued golfing until the last couple of years of his life. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to do that as his hand shaking got progressively worse. But he loved golf and he loved being able to keep moving, and he made the commitment to keep doing it.

He also walked several miles every day! When I would go visit, we would walk together and I was always astounded at how far he would walk. For ten years they were able to live in a retirement area with perpetual spring temperatures so they were able to walk outside all year long.

Eventually, his symptoms progressed enough that he and my mom decided to move near me. I lived in a great climate but had plenty of cold and rainy days in the winter. The brand new mall in the area followed the great example of so many other malls and opened their doors early, welcoming seniors, young moms and everyone in between to come walk in the mall. On cold or wet days, they would go over and walk together. About two years after they moved, his Parkinsons disease symptoms got much worse and he had to start using a rollator for about a year. He fought that off as long as he could, but once he had to use it, he made the most of it! You should have seen him tootling around that mall slowly, with the moms and their jogging strollers passing us right and left!

It wasn’t until the last few months of his life, when he reached end stage Parkinsons Disease, that his body finally made him give up even this activity and he had to turn to a wheelchair. Even then, he continued to stay as active as he could by “walking around the house” with his feet while in the wheelchair. And the sweet family memories of him carrying his young great-grandchild on his lap just puts such a big smile on my face.

All that regular and consistent exercise was excellent for him, kept him moving and active for a good twenty years after he first got his diagnosis, and helped tremendously to keep his spirits up. It wasn’t always easy or convenient to help my parents get to the mall regularly. But it was well worth it, knowing what a positive impact it made on his ability to stay active and alert for so long.

Now my senior mom walks around our neighborhood regularly – sometimes two or three times a day, and I go with her as often as my schedule permits. She saw what a tremendous impact it made in my dad’s life and she plans to keep following that great example, as do I. Both of us learned, from his wonderful and inspirational example, that staying active no matter how hard or embarrassing it may be, is crucial to a higher quality of life as we age. And it’s so important for us to come along side our senior parents, whenever possible, to help them achieve this goal.

Kaye Swain is a member of the Sandwich Generation dealing with the
issues of caring for the elderly parents and relatives in her family
while also babysitting grandchildren. She enjoys writing on those
topics at SandwichINK, in order to provide other multigenerational
caregivers with useful information, resources and encouragement.

Almost all daughters and sons who take care of their older parent, or elderly parents, usually do not imagine themselves as caregivers. They just consider themselves as attending to their parents. A caregiver is defined as somebody that provides support for another person who may not be able to reside on their own as a result of bodily, psychological, financial, or mental limitations.

Caregivers are likely to be thought to be specialists or volunteers who stop by the home of the person they may be looking after as needed. In situations where an expert will not be necessary, the duty will most likely drop on the siblings of the family. This could consist of errands, housekeeping, yard maintenance, managing finances, food shopping, and cooking meals in advance.

Surveys differ, but as many as 80% of all caregiver services in the U.S. are provided by family members. This adds up to practically 50 million men and women, and approximately a third of every U.S. family has an unpaid caregiver attending to the needs of an older parent in some capacity. 86% of caregivers are family members, and 66% tend to be female. The average family caregiver can assume this obligation for as long as nine years.

While there are several jobs and commitments a family caretaker will expect, 65% of all services consist of cooking food, and 40% are maintaining specific nutritional diets. 75% of family caregivers state food shopping is often a regular part of their duty. Senior citizens make up the largest percentage of people in society who need diabetic, weight loss, low sodium, and heart healthy diet programs. Preparing meals in advance for parents is usually a significant task in itself. Preparing meals regarding special diets, calls for further expertise with respect to both food shopping, and cooking.

Family caretakers who reside nearby will have a much easier go regarding cooking and taking care of their aging parents compared to those that live further away, or perhaps in another state. With the fast paced routines of employment and rearing their own families, it is no surprise 40% of family caregivers find caring for a mother or father, or parents, can be a burden. 32% say it is a excessive responsibility and results in emotional tension, but when it comes to taking care of an aging member of the family, it is usually a labor of love.

Prepared Meal Delivery Solutions

Nourishing an aging parent, or parents, can be one of the most frequent, and time intensive responsibilities a family caregiver can provide. Having prepared meals delivered, in some capacity, is often a potential option that helps both the family caregiver and the parent. Menus can be as simple as one dinner a day, to a comprehensive selection of breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Most companies that offer premade meals ship their meals frozen allowing it to easily be heated up in a microwave oven.

• DineWise is a nationwide meal delivery service that delivers frozen senior meals across the country. They have a substantial choice of foods, and offer nutritional options for individuals with diabetic, weight loss, and low sodium requirements. Repeated food deliveries may be booked for any time frame, as well as any budget. DineWise meal costs average $12 per meal.
• HomeStyle Direct is a service that accepts medicaid for residents who live in Idaho, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, Utah, or Wyoming. Their menu offers significantly less selection and does not cater to specific nutritional diet programs, but they do offer less expensive cost option. Their average meals will cost around $6 each.
• Meals On Wheels is a local service which provides hot meals to homebound senior citizens, typically more than 60 years old. Restrictions, qualifying criteria, and rates, in the form of contributions, varies depending on the county you live in. The service is not offered nationally. These agencies are usually financed through charitable efforts and local governing bodies.

National prepared meal delivery service corporations give family caretakers the ability to reduce stress and lower the burden of taking care of an aging parent, or parents. They also offer a benefit to the elderly in that they are simple to reheat, and enable seniors a sense of remaining self-sufficient. They may be bought in just about any volume, and optionally planned for regular shipping and delivery dates. Having precooked meals on hand also offers convenience for family caregivers in situations where they go away, or cannot attend for their parent, or parents.

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